Vignettes

Business Jargon that Proves You’ve Never Gone Camping

Business Jargon that Proves You’ve Never Gone Camping

“The long pole in the tent” is a metaphor with multiple meanings:

  1. The most important aspect of a problem. The most crucial thing that needs to be addressed first for a project to be successful. For example, it might refer to a key decision-maker or department.
  2. The most intractable part of a problem. A component of a project that takes longer than others. For example, in a project, “XYZ work is the long pole in the schedule.”
  3. The critical path: The longest path from start to finish that determines the overall duration of a project.

Although it can be annoying to keep up with these metaphors, this one is a solid addition. Though “critical path” has been historically used, it is less comprehensive than this metaphor. Critical paths often neglect department and human levels, frequently where many implementations stall.

References and Resources

A hot metaphor emerges by New York Times; Type: Article

The Secret to Dealing with an A$$hole at Work

The Secret to Dealing with an A$$hole at Work

Toxic work culture is everywhere, and plenty of data supports that. The likelihood that you have to work with an asshole is pretty good. But it’s also become the easy out for many because our perceptions are incredibly powerful. Blame, even if warranted, usually indicates a pattern. Each person has a choice to try to solve the culture problem or leave the culture problem behind in search of something better. But before you do jump ship, ask yourself this question: What if you were doing something that contributed to that asshole dynamic? Is that even a possibility?

The single most influential book I’ve ever read on the topic and have recommended many times is Leadership and Self-Deception by the Arbinger Institute. This book will challenge you to answer these questions. And if you feel after reading that book that you are not contributing to the issue – then you have your answer.

Note: I’m not talking about environments where the following behaviors are enabled: harassment, disrespect, or abuse. Those companies (and ones that are deliberately non-inclusive, unethical, cutthroat, and generally toxic) are asshole curators, and if you don’t feel safe, plan to leave.

The Real Victims of Spam Texts

The Real Victims of Spam Texts

Like many people, the amount of spam texts that I receive is increasing. Some are pretty basic, others are creative and almost appear real, and some are just half-assed. I almost feel sorry for the half-assed spammers who are mailing it in – just a hotmail address starting with a string of random letters and numbers trying to pull off a fake “UPS” or “Amazon” scam. But, somewhere in the back of my brain, I wonder if there really is a person named XYGF2HLNU with the email address XYGF2HLNU@hotmail.com. And if there is, I’m sorry.

Note: To be clear, scammers exploit others for personal gain. There is absolutely nothing redemptive about these people who cause so much harm and pain.

If People Knew the Truth

If People Knew the Truth

If people knew that the North Star was such an ass, I would hope they would stop trying to get to it.

In business, the term “North Star” represents a company’s strategic focal point. In many cases, a key metric is created to support this strategy and keep the company focused on improving its services, products, support, or anything else that helps improve that metric—which usually involves a customer. This approach is often used to help align companies and teams toward a single goal and is often very helpful for organizations that seem to be very fractured and siloed.

Learning: “North Star” is a visionary goal. It’s like a BHAG but less hairy. That’s about it. If you’d like to read more, click the Indeed article below.

References and Resources

What Is the North Star Strategy? by Indeed; Type: Article

Objects are Closer than they Appear

Objects are Closer than they Appear

“You’ve been made redundant.” This phrasing is very common, and it needs to change. We are doing this to ourselves. Humans dehumanizing humans is not okay. It’s not okay to do this with your “enemies,” and it’s certainly not okay to do it with people who were your coworkers yesterday. Corporations are nothing without humans. That may not always be the case, so let’s not rush into this, shall we? If you must let go of someone, take the humane path and don’t call them “redundant.”

Which Team is Better Funded?

Which Team is Better Funded?

If you’ve ever spent time in Customer Experience Operations, you’ll know the above to be true. And it’s not worth complaining about. The sales team (including their operations team) usually receives the funding and broader support of the Organization and with good reason. Sales, as it turns out, is crucial to keeping the lights on and giving the CX team a chance to dazzle, delight (and renew the customer). But as a wise CX leader once said, “Nothing happens without a sale.” So, when you see highly polished Sales documents and the equivalent of an 8th graders design aesthetic coming out of all the other Ops departments, now you know why.

Correcting Annual Feedback

Correcting Annual Feedback

Annual reviews need to change. They are flawed. In many cases, it’s the only time an employee receives feedback from their manager. It’s also typically wrapped into pay raises. Which dramatically skews the feedback process. How can you honestly give or receive feedback when each party is financially incentivized to play out a character?

Do you want a better way? Feedback should be freely given and received weekly, monthly, and quarterly. If there is an annual review process, it should be considered feedback confirmation with minimal NEW feedback. This would result in a conversation about pay based on a year’s performance and feedback. Not a tap dance around a 3% raise.

Learning: Feedback should be a constant part of your employee dynamics. If you want to improve, seek feedback by asking specific questions like “What’s one thing I can improve upon?” regularly.

Teamwork Branding Guidelines Change

Teamwork Branding Guidelines Change

Teamwork analogies are everywhere. They are in your coffee shops, at your favorite sporting event, and even in your home. Although we agree that showing 9 seconds of video where a race car pit crew replaces an entire car during a race is impressive, it’s also a tired analogy. So, the new teamwork analogy approved by the Teamwork Branding Team (TBT) uses videos where people help each other up a very tall, usually wooden, wall.

Learning: Please replace all Pit Crew imagery with people climbing walls for your next presentation.

But Are We Ok?

But Are We Ok?

First, I’d like to mention that CEOs have the responsibility to make their company a success – which is really hard to do. They usually have a board to answer to and leaders they didn’t hire trying to execute their vision. But, with that said, what the hell? In “2022, the ratio between CEO compensation at S&P 500 firms and average U.S. worker pay stood at 272-to-1, according to AFL-CIO analysis. The CEOs in this group averaged $16.7 million, while average worker pay stood at $61,900.” Pause for a moment to multiply your salary and equity by 272. Does that number seem appropriate?

In addition, CEO pay grew 1,460% since 1978. Now, accounting for inflation and for stupidly overpaid CEOs like Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, and Elon Musk (who is currently pressing for a $47 Billion pay package), the data clearly indicates a significant discrepancy between average CEO pay and their top .1% workers. And don’t get me started on Steve Ballmer, a colossal flop of a CEO, who still gets $1 billion annually from Microsoft for doing nothing. Although, he does donate $45 million (less than 5%) to non-profits annually. So there’s that. Again, he does nothing. So there’s that, too.

Learning: If you are not one of the CEOs that’s benefiting from this discrepancy, we highly recommend the article The CEO Pay Problem and What We Can Do About It which has a few great ideas on what can be done to begin to resolve this.

References and Resources

The CEO Pay Problem and What We Can Do About It by Sarah Anderson, Institute for Policy Studies; Alan Barber, CPC Center; Type: Article

CEO pay has skyrocketed 1,460% since 1978 By Josh Bivens and Jori Kandra/Economic Policy Institute; Type: Article

Former Microsoft CEO Set To Earn $1 Billion A Year For Doing Nothing by World News; Type: Article

Tesla urges investors to get Elon Musk his $47 billion pay package by The Times of India; Type: Article

The Elephant in the Room

The Elephant in the Room

We’ve all been in meetings where the audience is aware of a topic actively being avoided. I have always found that interesting – why would we not talk about what we all need to discuss? Well, it turns out that there are two main reasons:

  1. We are actively trying to avoid a topic either because we are ashamed, it’s too hard, or there is a culture of not talking about hard things.
  2. What we think is ‘the elephant in the room’ is only ‘the elephant in the room’ to us. To everyone else, it’s just a cute elephant stuffy.

Learning: Spending a few moments understanding why a topic is not being discussed can prevent you from accidentally sabotaging a meeting or your reputation. Conversely, it will provide you with the depth you need to ensure the topic can be addressed in the most productive way.