There are many examples of startups trying to ride on the heels of other successful companies. The Uber of this, the Netflix of that, the Airbnb for whatever… These shortcuts may help people understand what you do but are incredibly cliche. And lazy. Comparative marketing is one thing, but this is an entirely different type of marketing, and it needs to stop. Or go full-monty on Nonsense. The Billie Eilish of Towels. The amuse-bouche of Tech Support. The Ham Sandwich of dog leashes. So many possibilities.

References and Resources

Please Don’t Be “The Uber of” Anything by Emma Stratton; Type: Article

Stop saying you’re the Netflix of this or the Uber of that. by Oh Blimey; Type: Article

Your Company Isn’t the Uber or AirBNB of Anything by Wonden Works; Type: Article

“The long pole in the tent” is a metaphor with multiple meanings:

1. The most important aspect of a problem. The most crucial thing that needs to be addressed first for a project to be successful. For example, it might refer to a key decision-maker or department.
2. The most intractable part of a problem. A component of a project that takes longer than others. For example, in a project, “XYZ work is the long pole in the schedule.”
3. The critical path: The longest path from start to finish that determines the overall duration of a project.

Although it can be annoying to keep up with these metaphors, this one is a solid addition. Though “critical path” has been historically used, it is less comprehensive than this metaphor. Critical paths often neglect department and human levels, frequently where many implementations stall.

References and Resources

A hot metaphor emerges by New York Times; Type: Article

If people knew that the North Star was such an ass, I would hope they would stop trying to get to it.

In business, the term “North Star” represents a company’s strategic focal point. In many cases, a key metric is created to support this strategy and keep the company focused on improving its services, products, support, or anything else that helps improve that metric—which usually involves a customer. This approach is often used to help align companies and teams toward a single goal and is often very helpful for organizations that seem to be very fractured and siloed.

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Learning: “North Star” is a visionary goal. It’s like a BHAG but less hairy. That’s about it. If you’d like to read more, click the Indeed article below.

References and Resources

What Is the North Star Strategy? by Indeed; Type: Article

The phrase “low-hanging fruit” comes from the idea that picking fruit from lower branches is usually easier and faster than picking fruit from higher branches. The first recorded use of the metaphor as a figurative expression was in 1909. Although “quick wins” seem to have taken over the “low-hanging fruit” space, we still hope there is room for both.

References and Resources

Low Hanging Fruit Definition

The Parking Lot is a funny thing. On one hand, it’s very necessary to keep the conversation on track (people can’t help but stray). On the other hand, some great ideas die in the Parking Lot.

Learning: If you keep a Parking Lot, someone must own the capture, reduction, and assignment of critical topics.

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Does this resonate with you? How do you keep meetings focused on a single topic and keep ideas that are off-topic (but interesting) alive? If so, we’d love to hear from you.

It’s funny to think about the evolution of business jargon. In the last few years, we somehow moved from “Eating Our Own Dog Food” to “Drinking Our Own Merlot,” which means “to use your company’s own software or solutions.” As an aside, I’ve heard Champagne or Wine as substitutes for Merlot – but it does beg the question: Why did we start with Dog Food? Why not just Food? Well, we have Microsoft to blame for that. In the 1980s, Microsoft Manager Paul Maritz wrote an email challenging his team to use their own product. The title of that email was “Eating our own Dogfood.”

Conclusion: Aside from the fact that this would likely be an incredibly boring book, I would love to know the history and rationale behind business jargon and the evolution of certain phrases over time.

References and Resources

Eating Your Own Dog Food from Wikipedia; Type: Article

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Does this resonate with you? Have you seen the evolution of certain business jargon? Care to share? We’d love to hear from you.

In Customer Success, a plan is great, but following the plan is not the point. The phrase “The Operation was successful, but the patient has died” helps demonstrate how ‘processes’ and ‘processes as proxy’ cannot replace a customer-centric mindset.

Learning: If you see a plan that is not working for a customer, it is foolish to continue with it. Create a better plan. Agility is what separates the new leaders from the seasoned ones.

References and Resources

The operation was successful, the patient is dead by Helge Tennø/Medium; Type: Article

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Have you ever experienced this phenomenon? If so, we’d love to hear from you.

The term “Circle back” is baked in good intent. It’s often used to focus a discussion on a single topic. “Let’s circle back to that” is similar to putting something in “the Parking Lot.” However, unlike the parking lot, where it’s more permanent, “Circle back” suggests temporary deferment. When someone utters, “I’d like to circle back to what [Helen] said,” be aware – this can easily lead to topic shifts and egos taking over the conversation. Not always, but often.

Learning: Business Jargon is contagious – beware of overusing it.

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How long has it been since you’ve heard the phrase “Circle Back”? And did you, in fact, “Circle Back?” We’d love to hear from you.

The phrase “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it to drink” isn’t strictly a business phrase – it dates back to the 12th century but does seem to get used often. It is usually intended to mean that you can’t force someone to do something they don’t want to do. As a leader, if you are struggling with individuals on the team refusing the water, the best option is to start drinking the water yourself. I’m blowing up this metaphor, but hopefully, you get this idea. This assumes that what y’all are trying to do is aligned with the core values of the Organization and the individuals.

Conclusion: If you want someone on your team to do something, you must be willing to do it yourself.

References and Resources

You can lead a horse to water by Grammarist; Type: Article

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Does this resonate with you? Have you ever experienced this level of resistance to something? We’d love to hear from you.

Note: Header Image provided by AI (Adobe Firefly)

“Your Baby is Ugly” is an unbelievably strange business phrase that essentially means, “Your tool or application that you are so proud of is pretty bad.” It’s a strange one. What makes it even stranger is that it’s really only used in the context of someone proudly showcasing their ability to make the hard choices, as in, “I’m not afraid to call our baby ugly.”

Learning: Can we all agree that Babies should be off-limits to business jargon? Especially if bathwater is involved or it involves a baby’s qualitative features. Some business jargon is better than others but try (please) to avoid this one.

References and Resources

Calling Their Baby “Ugly” by Operational Excellence Society; Type: Article

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Does this resonate with you? Have you ever heard someone actually use this phrase? If so, we’d love to hear from you.