Skip to content
Tech Vs Humans
  • Mission
  • Blog
  • About Us
  • The Music List
  • The Reading List
  • Search Icon

Tech Vs Humans

A Digital Transformation Playspace

Book Review: Changing the Conversation

Book Review: Changing the Conversation

July 14, 2022

With an MS in Conflict Studies and Mediation, Dana Caspersen knows conflict. In the book, Changing the Conversation – she starts with 17 principles and anti-principles that help break down conflict into actionable guidelines. The book doesn’t ask you to avoid conflict; it only lets you think about your role in the conflict and how to resolve it best. Dana separates her book into three sections: Facilitate Listening and Speaking, Change the Conversation, and Look for Ways Forward.

Overall – the way Dana thinks about Conflict Resolution is refreshing. It’s all very common sense, but it is an excellent reminder to look beyond the emotion in the conflict to seek resolution. There is a lot in the book to pull from, but the areas that stuck out most for me were:

  1. Differentiate needs, interests, and strategies – in other words, look for the underlying need, not just the exact words that are coming your way,
  2. Talk to the better self – don’t assume the worst in people,
  3. Develop curiosity – look for the rationale and reasoning and continue to dig until you do. What’s the larger story?

What makes this book different from others? Two reasons; 1) the 17 principles are easy to follow, and the book is easy to consume. 2) Dana uses and frames questions so thoroughly. Dana brings out examples of continuing the conversation throughout the book with better questions and insights. I’ve listed a few styles that I liked:

  • It seems like we all
  • It sounds like you are
  • So, we’ve got different ideas about X. What are your thoughts on how we should proceed?
  • Can you talk about Y so that I can better understand the issue?

In the end, don’t actively avoid conflict. Listening better and humanizing the other person’s opinion will only help you get more from those conversations than not. The person you have a disagreement with may be a jerk, but don’t start there, and don’t use that as a reason to avoid curiosity or conflict.

Supporting Music

Angel by Massive Attack

Redemption Song by Eddie Vedder and Beyonce

Note: Originally posted December 5, 2017

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Related


Book Reviews, Conflict Resolution

Post navigation

PREVIOUS
When Lean is Too Lean
NEXT
The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side – Unless You Are a Fish

One thought on “Book Review: Changing the Conversation”

  1. Pingback: 5 Books on Conflict Resolution - Tech Vs Humans

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Categories

  • Book Reviews
  • Career Growth
  • Change Management
  • Conflict Resolution
  • Digital Transformation
  • Guiding Principles
  • Humor
  • Implementation Best Practices
  • Implementation Parables
  • Implementation Vocabulary
  • Leadership
  • Personal Growth
  • User Adoption
  • User Personas
  • Work Management
  • Work/Life Balance
© 2023   All Rights Reserved.