I grew up in a house that didn’t have conflict. I suspect I’m not much different from many people. There, simply, was no conflict. No arguments, no fights, and certainly no negotiation. As I’ve moved into the Corporate sector (and became a father), I realized that I very much lacked in this department. And so for the last year, I’ve dedicated my time to learn more about myself and conflict through some experts in the field. Here’s a list of what…
Whenever you run into a stumbling block, it’s easy to look for someone or something to blame. Admittedly, it’s something I struggle with, as well. When I do find myself at that moment looking for blame – I mentally come back to this short video by Brené Brown. It’s a helpful reminder of what’s going on for me. It merely means that I’m feeling uncomfortable with something and looking for someone to pin it on. It’s easier to rage and…
Shoshin is a word from Zen Buddhism which means “beginner’s mind”. It refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and a lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level – just as a beginner in that subject would. The idea is that as an expert, you have a limited perspective – like digging a hole deeper and deeper. As a beginner, you have many perspectives and many ways to view a subject. Whether…
You are probably thinking that’s a ridiculous title: When receiving Feedback, Humanize – don’t personalize. Of course, you are going to personalize feedback; that’s the whole point of feedback. And I agree with that. But let us be a little bit realistic – do you listen the same way when you hear feedback about yourself as someone else? I would argue that if you are sensible, the answer is no, and that’s what I mean by “Personalize feedback.” When you…
With an MS in Conflict Studies and Mediation, Dana Caspersen knows conflict. In the book, Changing the Conversation – she starts with 17 principles and anti-principles that help break down conflict into actionable guidelines. The book doesn’t ask for you to avoid conflict; it only enables you to think about your role in the conflict and how to best resolve it. Dana separates her book into three sections: Facilitate Listening and Speaking, Change the Conversation, and Look for Ways Forward….