Zoom Rule #1 – Avoid Inducing Vertigo

Zoom Rule #1 – Avoid Inducing Vertigo

As my eldest goes through remote learning, she adds amazing stories of fellow students doing wacky things on camera. Mostly unintentionally. Her stories are absolutely hilarious and remind me that kids are amazing. Whether changing clothes, exploring the insides of either nostril for extended periods while on camera or forgetting to go on mute – her teacher has to remind everyone about zoom etiquette on a regular basis.

I would love to say that this is just an isolated issue with kids. It’s not. I’ve been in bed with so many co-workers and clients. Well, that didn’t sound right. I’ll rephrase: I have been on so many zoom calls where others are lying in bed. In some cases, hair-towels and robes have been involved. I’ve even been taken into the bathroom an inordinate amount of times. And to be clear, more than once is inordinate.

Jon Acuff and Seth Godin recapped some great zoom habits that assume that you know the basics – like not taking your laptop into the bathroom. Please. Here are a few of their suggestions with a few of Tech Vs. Humans additions.

Zoom rules (or they should be)

  1. Stop walking around during video calls. If you’ve ever seen The Blair Witch project – you know what I’m talking about. The last thing you want is to cause Vertigo in your zoom attendees.
  2. Horrible lighting is really distracting. It’s hard to have a zoom call with someone that you feel might be in witness protection. Get your lighting sorted, please.
  3. When you aren’t talking – go on mute. So many people need this one tattooed to their butts. Still. Aside from barking dogs, zoom and zoom-like technologies don’t know the difference between foreground and background noise. They pick up everything.
  4. Consider your backdrop. Take a look at what is in your background. Do you have a picture of you and your frat brothers doing shots from your glory days in college? Do you have your unmade bed? Consider something less distracting and perhaps invest in a green screen.
  5. Avoid Odd camera angles. No one looks good when the camera is pointing up at your face. No one. Not Scarlett Johanssen. Not Ryan Reynolds. No one.
  6. Mute button mismanagement. How many meetings have you been on where someone has said, “Sorry, I was on mute?” For me, it’s at least three meetings a day. If you go on mute, know that you have to come off mute to speak.
  7. Eating/drinking on calls. If you can avoid it – try not to eat on calls unless it’s a teambuilding exercise, and you all are eating.
  8. Every call does not have to be on zoom. I used to mandate zoom on every remote call, but I’ve experienced burn-out like many other people. There are too many video calls, and the incoming data is overwhelming. Try mixing your days up with good old-fashioned cell phone meetings.
  9. Keeping your camera on (especially when everyone has their camera on). If everyone has their camera on, you need to address why your camera is not on.
  10. Set audio to off upon entry to a meeting. This is a minor one, but this setting needs to be your default. Consider your entrance into a zoom call like the first impression.
  11. You may be home, but don’t dress like you just got out of bed. It’s still a professional call, and so you should still try to aim for professional. At least, from the waist up.
  12. Virtual backgrounds – unless you have a green screen, don’t use them. They are insanely distracting, especially when someone’s hand disappears and reappears multiple times during a conversation.

References and Resources

Jon Acuff on 10 Worst Zoom Habits

Zoom Habits from Seth Godin

Supporting Music

Weezer – Paranoid Android

The Raconteurs – Steady as She Goes (Live at Montreux)

Arcade Fire – Sprawl 2 (Covid Edition)

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